Would you like anything else with that coffee?

... Like a bitch slap, maybe?

So, picture this. I'm working at a well-known coffee empire, on which America runs, apparently. I've been there for about a week and I just finished training. Every day I've worked this classy young lady comes in, who looks like she could use a stint in rehab as well as a 4-hour shower. Sometimes she comes in with her hunk of a boyfriend ( a hunk of what, I'll leave to your imagination). I worked Sunday morning from 7 to 12 and I had just gone on break when Miss Class showed up. As soon as I saw her I felt a perplexing combination of relief that I didn't have to serve her and guilt because my sweetheart of a co-worker, Sam, who is also fairly new, had to take her.

This is how it went down.

Girl: "I'll have a small ice coffee."
Sam: "Regular?"
Girl: (points to me) "That girl knows how to make it."
[Keep in mind that A: I've never made this chick's coffee before and B: I'm on break. So I just shrug and smile as I take a bite out of the bagel I just grabbed for my breakfast.]
Girl: (to Sam) "Well, I want a lot, a lot of cream, like six sugars, melted, but when you melt it you gotta pour it between two cups. And I only want a little bit of ice."
Sam: *blinks* "Excuse me?"
[Keep in mind that an ice coffee is basically hot coffee with a shitload of ice poured into it to cool it down. And it's usually very simple to prepare.]

So, there's a line of people behind this wonderful customer and poor Sam is sitting there looking like a mad scientist mixing a new formula as she's trying to make this overly-complicated coffee. She ends up having to remake it several times after the girl taste-tests it and insists Sam didn't make it right. Then when it's finally done like 10 years later, the chick pays in change, mentos, and pocket lint and doesn't even throw a penny in the tip cup.

And that's just one of the pains in the ass that comes in daily. Then there's the guy that orders like 4 smoothies and 6 colattas, among others. I pitty the poor bastard who comes in for a small black coffee and has to wait behind one of these douchebags.

Cheers, mates.

The Business End of Higher Education

I got a billing statement from my college saying I owe them a shitload of money.

I took out a loan for just this purpose.

They left me a number to call the business office and straighten this out.

Then everyone took off until Monday.

Oh how I love these little adventures. Yes, that's what I'll call them. "Adventures." Not "unfortunate communication mishaps" or "frustrating occurances" or "inconsiderate f***-ups." I will call them "adventures."

The Employment Conspiracy

So why is it that teenagers from ages 14 to 17 can get a job practically anywhere doing practically everything, from bagging groceries at Market Basket to working at some big corporate company, while those of us trying to get a college education can't even get a callback from Wendy's or Office Max? Maybe it's just Billerica.

Food for thought, kids. Food for thought.

People Suck

So, I'm job-hunting, as anyone who reads this knows. And on Friday I make a phonecall to a certain store to which I recently applied for a job. I call and this girl answers and she just has an attitude from the second she picks up the phone. Here's how the conversation went:
The girl picked up, mumbled some inaudible greeting that could've been "go f*** yourself" for all I knew, and somewhere in there said the name of the store.
"Hello," I said. "I'm calling to check on the status of a job application."
She says, "You what?" as if I just told her I killed her dog and fed it to her mother.
I reply, "I'd like to check on a job application."
She says, rather huffily I might add, "Just go online." and hangs up.
Mind you, you can't check whether or not they've read the ap and considered you online. And I've already filled out the actual application. And she didn't even give me the website.
All I have to say is if they hired her for her reception skills, I'm totally in.

One or Two Things

Long time no post. It's summer time, and there hasn't been much going on for me. I'm job-hunting and writing, hanging out with friends. Yadda yadda.

Just a few things I want to talk about that I find amusing. Paris Hilton in prison. It's about damn time. Maybe now she'll realize that just because her name is Hilton she can't do whatever the hell she wants and get away with it. Maybe she and Lindsay Lohan will be in the same cell block. Rosie O'Donnell getting kicked off The View. Priceless. Although I think Elizabeth needs to be less hostile with her opinions. Agree to disagree for Christ sakes and get on with the show. As a flollow-up to that comment, Kathy Griffin as a guest Co-Host. Yeesh, if that's not mixing oil and water I don't know what is. I love Kathy Griffin, but apparently Barbara Walters doesn't.

And here's something that's just my luck. One of my classes was cancelled, which was expected, and another's time was changed. Here we go again.

Finals and Awkward Birthdays

So, I just finished my last essay and last final of the semester. Yay me!

And here's a funny little story.
Friday, I go to this birthday bash for my dad's aunt, whom I haven't seen since I was like 9 years old. Mind you, had I realized this little shindig was taking place during move-out weekend, I totally wouldn't have agreed to it. But I didn't so I did. Everyone there aside from my dad, my grandmother, and my aunt (who was half hammered when we got there) was either someone I'd never met, or someone I didn't remember very well. So I might as well have been partying with a bunch of strangers. I was also exhausted and had 2 final essays due for Monday I wanted to work on. So between dealing with awkward hugs and conversations (where every person thought I was 13 instead of almost 19) and baby-sitting Drunkie, I was pretty much all set with that scene. But it could've been worse.

I rented 3 movies over the weekend: The Hitcher, Notes on a Scandal, and some B flick called Thr3E (yes, the 3 is actually in there.) Notes on a Scandal was really good, The Hitcher wasn't bad, and Thr3E was really weird, but not terrible.

That's it for now. Later.
"Shit Happened? Have a drink."- Malloy/Banda-ism

Bye Bye CCNE

Well, I'm not gone yet, but I will be leaving Tuesday.

Until then I have finals to study for, essays to write, rocky friendships to salvage or ignore, and a lot of packing to do.

Shit Happens: "If shit has not happened yet, then shit is bound to happen soon."- Dan Keating.